Moving to student accommodation can cause anxiety for students and families, and a lot of the worries we have can be dispelled by advice from those who have experienced it. This is not different when ADHD is involved, but having ADHD raises its own questions and concerns. So, as a person with ADHD who has lived in student accommodation, worked as a residential mentor and is now a university lecturer, I feel I can offer some perspectives, advice and reassurance.
Firstly, to get to the heart of the problem we need to recognise that this kind of move is more than geographical – it’s personal. It’s a move between stages of life where a person gains new freedoms and responsibilities, and we sometimes worry that people with ADHD will struggle with this because of organisation or time management. But ADHD is not an impassable chasm that impedes a person’s journey through life. Those with ADHD grow – despite the stigma of being childish or immature – given the opportunity and environment. That said, there are legitimate concerns about moving to student accommodation when you have ADHD and, in my experience, the main worry is about ‘independent living’. But that term is a little misguiding.
My parents were sceptical about whether I would ‘cope’ with independent living when I first moved into student accommodation. They perceived this change as akin to being lifted out of a comfy jacuzzi and thrown into the dark ocean, with only a hope that I would float. But this is a misconception that emerges out of anxiety. The reality is that student accommodation is more like communal living, and in my case, the experience was important because I have ADHD.
To reassure any anxious families out there, almost every student moves into corridors with five to eight other students who are in the same situation. Most of them have never ‘moved out’ before, and it’s not too cliché to say that many of them have never done the laundry, organised the shopping or registered with a new GP before! This is true, irrespective of ADHD, and having the common need to learn these things is the best bonding experience they can have. They develop what they call their ‘uni family’ and they live, and grow, together. Thinking that those with ADHD are uniquely or especially stranded at sea says more about our anxiety than it does reality.
The advice I can give those who have ADHD and are apprehensive about moving into student accommodation is simple: get to know your flatmates. Sure, it’s awkward at first, but everyone feels that way – after all, you are each a stranger to one another, and you are all living together. You all need to find the nearest shop (and bar), and you are all quite likely unaccustomed to having such new freedoms. That now, for the first time in your life, you can go home when you want; your bedroom can be as you like it; you can choose to spend the day in bed or not. This was always going to happen at some point whether you have ADHD or not, but the great thing about it happening in student accommodation is that there’s hundreds of others just like you who are having the same experience. It will be one of the most memorable and transformative experiences of your life, not despite having ADHD, but because of having ADHD.
David Ellis is a Lecturer in Philosophy, Ethics and Religion at Leeds Trinity University.
Leeds Trinity University has a dedicated support team who can help students with a wide range of academic or personal issues, including wellbeing, relationships, housing or any other concerns. For more information, visit the website.