This weekend (15-16 June) will be Eid-al-Adha, the second biggest celebration of the year for Muslims (the first being Eid-al-Fitr, which is after Ramadan, the holy month of fasting).  

Eid-al-Adha is significant, not only because it signifies the holy pilgrimage to Mecca but also because it honours the story of the Prophet Abraham.  According to scripture, Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son and was rewarded for his loyalty by having him divinely replaced by a sheep (similar understandings are also held by Jews, Catholics and Christians). Muslims all over the world celebrate by wearing new clothes, visiting family and friends, eating well and coming together with loved ones.  

However, the celebrations around Eid are no less susceptible to some of the trappings that come with any major holiday period. While we can agree that Eid is supposed to be a time of joy and deep spiritual reflection, the cold, hard reality can often be a downer. Issues like family politics can become overwhelming and high expectations (either by us or others) can leave us confused about the true meaning of Eid. Add to this a real sense of loneliness and isolation if you find yourself on the outside of a ‘community’ and celebrating Eid becomes more of a chore rather than a time of happiness.  

This more complicated side of the festivities has not necessarily been a part of public discussion which is understandable. Opportunities to speak of our cultural heritage are few and far between and we don’t want to appear ungrateful, or worse, not a ‘good’ Muslim.  

With many Muslims in the workplace having to repeatedly explain that yes, there is another Eid coming and yes, we would like to have more time off, but we don’t know exactly when (honestly, it’s the sighting of the moon that’s the issue, not us being flaky) we risk becoming not only a parody of ourselves but paranoid that everyone should see that we’re having the best, most holy time ever.   

With immigration laws getting harsher and popular right-wing sentiments on the rise, with bearing witness to tragedies in Palestine, Yemen, Syria and too many others to mention, Muslims are under enormous pressure from all corners to be nothing less than perfect. To be anything else risks letting the side down, of not being good enough.  

So, with that said, here is the grumpy guide to celebrating Eid if you’re feeling any of the above:  

Take the time off – you have earned this.  

1. Do something for YOU – if you feel you’re at the bottom of everyone else’s priority list, make this day special for yourself. 
2. Don’t feel you have to explain yourself – you are who you are, complex and human.  
3. Eat all the gulab jamun (popular traditional Asian sweet treat) – they make everything better.  
4. Bring the gulab jamun in for your best work mates – your community is what you make it.  
5. Be as grumpy as you need to be – Eid is for you.  

Dr Naziya O’Reilly is a Senior Lecturer in Teacher Education and co-chair of the BAME staff network at Leeds Trinity University.